First week on T and my fellow T-mates

I noticed some changes today. I think it is happening really fast. I experienced increased acne few days after I started. My voice is pretty low to begin with, but today I noticed that I was unable to reach the higher tunes without a great deal of stress on my voice. I experienced a lowering of the voice during the first half of 2006. I did’t get my hormone levels checked, as I thought it was just a ever lasting cold. But now I wonder if that may have been some sort of high testo or just a mental effect of coming to terms with my gender identity. It might even be that when I allowed myself to be the man that I am for the first time, it sparked some weired changes in my hormone levels. I guess I’ll never find out for sure.

I also thought I noticed some increase in the hair growth on my stomack, where I apply the testogel, but that seems to be just imagination. Otherwise I would end up in fur before the end of summer. But the skin in my face is really changing, and not only because of acne. All my pores seems bigger.

Today I also got my first experience of what a male sex-drive might be like. Very strange. I’ve concidered myself as male in that respect for a long time, but today was different. I felt my whatever-you’d-like-to-call-it getting hard and everything happened faster than I’m used to. It has also grown a little bit, I think, but I’m not sure.

We are four transmen at WordPress starting T roughly at the same time:

Jacky started T may 26. Today he writes of his changes, including the sex-drive.

Ryan started T may 29.

Gender Outlaw started T april 2.

And me, june 5.

It’s kind of a similar feeling as I got the first time I met someone born the same day as me. Way cool!

We have different doses and brands. I believe I’m the only one on gel?

I’m 30 y.o., Gender Outlaw is 34, Jacky is 35 and Ryan is 22.

Ryan lives in Australia, I live in Norway, Jacky in Canada and so does Gender Outlaw.

Almost ready for Transfabulous!

I’m very excited! This weekend will be my first trip to London. I’m invited to keep a workshop (actually a speak and reading poetry) at this fabulous festival for transart. The title of my workshop is “My body is my logo”, a quotation from Framandkar.

I’ve worked on translating a lot of my poems the past few days and realize that I should have done it a long time ago. As you may have discovered; I don’t write english flawlessly… I’m doing my best. Hopefully someone will see the need to make better translations and publish some of it in english. And actually, I’m doing better at the translations than I thought I’d do originally.

Support Norwegian transgender doctor!

Those who has been reading here a while, know that the Norwegian GID-clinic has a monopoly and abuses their power. This has caused Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad, who is transgender zerself, to take action and help several people in need of treatment. Esben Esther is the best known transgender activist in Norway. Ze is now at risk of loosing zer licence to practice bacause ze helped one person to get mastectomy. This would be devastating for the norwegian transgender population, as several people are dependant of zer courage and will to help transpeople in need. I urge you to take action and sign the petition!

English translation:

I who sign this agree that:

1. Esben Esther acted on strong ethical gounds when he broke the law and that all charges should be dropped.

2. The GID-clinic’s national authority should be examined and questioned. They should only have monopoly on the surgically altering of genitals. Competent doctors should be made useful and more doctors should be taught trans-competence.

3. All gender/sex/body relted treatment should be on the gounds of the applicant, who should be treated individually. “The genuine” transsexual is a outdated theory and should be recognized as such. A variety of needs and ways of understanding gender should be included in the service of treatment.

Please sign!

T-day!

I got my prescription in the mail today. I went right to a pharmacy and picked up my box filled with small packages of testogel. I’m the happiest man in the world!

Pictures can be seen at my norwegian blog.

Caring about this moment

Jacky and Ryan writes about how it shouldn’t matter if being queer or trans is a choice. And I agree. His bottom line is this:

I’m not that concerned about the WHY of things. I am more concerned with my life as it is right now.
Why I’m trans doesn’t matter. Whether or not its a product of nature, or nurture, or just a particularly convincing delusion I am under, it really doesn’t matter.
My choice is all that matters.

There’s nothing wrong with being queer… so why does it matter if I choose this path?

We choose to act or not to act. I’m not concerned either about the why. It also reminds me of something the psychiatrist at the GID-clinic said. They were not convinced that my gender identity will stay male. I am convinced, of course, but that doesn’t matter to them. And who can predict anything about the future with certainty? Me neither.

But if I choose to change my body to make it look more male, I know that will feel better than to have a female body. I never wanted a female body, I just accepted it as my destiny for far too long. I can’t imagine that I’ll ever want that body back, but if so, I should be mature enough to take responsibility for my own actions. Judging from my experiences, that won’t be a problem. Feelings of regret are almost non-existant in my life so far. Not because I’ve always taken the best decisions, but because I’m able to see that I didn’t have the means to handle the situation  better at the time. I intend to keep it that way.

What I care about is making the best possible decisions today so that I can have a better life in the future. And, yes, it should be mine to make.

Genderbending the Eurovision Song Contest? Reporting realtime

I’ve given into the pressure and decided to watch the Eurovision Song Contest. Especially since all my friends see it and nothing fun is going to happen anyway.

I was struck by the genderbending aspects of the opening show: First a person I would presume was FTM in a suit and a person I presumed was some kind of biological man in a wedding dress. Then the dress goes off and reveals a woman in a suit. For most of the song, the singer (”FTMish”) is surrounded by dancing women in half black suits, half white dress. It gives the impression that they are half men, half women. And the coreography makes it seem that they change - one minute female, the next male. I loved it!

How to Respect a Transgender Person

I don’t think this should be necessary. Basically it just explains that common sense also applies to interacting with transgender people. But it seems that especially journalists have a hard time with social rules, so I’ll post it anyway.

Please, do not try to print any of my former names! And I’m getting sick of being asked about that. Some time in the future, when everyone can see that those names don’t fit, I’ll tell everyone without hesitating, but for now, I don’t feel comfortable with even hearing them, and really ain’t able to get them over my lips.

Thank you!

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

If you have recently learned of a transgender person in your life, you might not understand their identity and you may be unsure of how to act around them without offending or hurting their feelings. The term “transgender person” in this article means a person who does not fully identify with the gender they were assigned with at birth. There are transgender people all over the world (e.g. US, Mexico,[1] India[2]) and in a wide variety of cultures (e.g. Native American,[3] Thai[4]). For such people, it is not always easy to explain their gender situation in today’s society. Here’s how to understand and respect someone who challenges your ideas about gender, and who does not easily fall within the category of “male” or “female”.

The other way around

In my search for alternative ways of getting the treatment I need, I stumbled across this interview with a Finnish transsexual woman. She speaks about how different genders behave differently, and her observations are really interesting.

Antony and the Johnsons - My Lady Story (live)

Not otherwise specified

I’m officially disordered

not otherwise specified

a specie?

a speciment for studying

a specie not otherwise specified

It’s a man’s world

that I’m not part of

a woman’s world

where I reached the point of no return

a long time ago

not long enough

My first poem originally written in english since I left school. If it qualifies as a poem. Maybe it’s a text not otherwise specified?